Pulling Down the Moon

Grief and Infertility

Jun 15, 2017

A colleague of mine heard this stat at a recent fertility conference: ‘One in ten people experiencing infertility is actively suicidal.’ Did she hear that right? One in ten? Not depressed…not has suicidal ideation. But is ACTIVELY suicidal?



I remember reading early on in my career at Pulling Down the Moon that fertility patients have grief levels rivaling those of cancer patients. Should this surprise us? The drive to reproduce is wired into our biology. Many of us have fantasized about the joy of having children since we were children ourselves, and to be told we may not be able to fulfill this can threaten everything we thought we knew about our future. Add to this the pain of loss, for those who have had miscarriages or stillbirths, or those who are ‘circumstantially infertile’, due to divorce or not finding a partner to embark on this journey with…all of these people have had paradigms threatened and dreams shattered.


But unlike cancer patients, people struggling with infertility tend to be very private with their grief. They typically don’t broadcast their struggle to the world, and as such bear the burden of it largely alone. And since men and women tend to experience grief very differently, even a loving partner doesn’t always provide the support you need.


Grief can manifest in different ways, whether in the form of anger, guilt, insomnia, depression, loss of appetite, apathy, or over-achievement. Grief goes through many stages as it’s processed. And grief, when left unchecked, can create stress and disruption in the body as emotions are stored in the tissue, leading to imbalance, disease, and (ironically) even infertility.


Having tools to address grief is vitally important. We live in a society that doesn’t often place a high premium on self-nurturing, but we need to. Taking time to show ourselves kindness, whether in the form of a walk through nature, a massage, or a bubblebath should be an absolute priority for someone dealing with infertility. Finding a place to communicate and share your struggles, losses, and dreams also makes a huge impact on your well-being. That’s why community is at the heart of Pulling Down the Moon. Whether through yoga classes, workshops, or working one on one with a practitioner, it is our mission to let our patients know that they aren’t alone. Our heart is to give them not to address their physical wellbeing, but to give them mental and emotional support throughout their journey.

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There are many reasons that a therapeutic yoga program may benefit women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. PCOS presents very differently in different women but the syndrome as whole is associated with infertility and other adverse health conditions including obesity, diabetes and heart disease. Women with PCOS may also have higher levels of chronic inflammation and elevated levels of circulating stress hormones. The good news is that more and more research suggests that lifestyle intervention including lifestyle intervention including diet and exercise may be the best way to manage PCOS. In addition, new research is showing the benefit of Traditional Chinese Medicine to treat the hormonal imbalances, symptoms like hirsutism and acne, and menstrual irregularity that is associated with PCOS. Another element of PDtM’s PCOS “Action Plan is yoga. Yoga has been shown to lower levels of stress hormones and women with a regular yoga practice have been show to have a “healthier physiological response to stress". Yoga has also been shown to reduce markers of oxidative stress and blood sugar control in people with diabetes as well as improve blood pressure and cholesterol levels in heart disease patients (1). Some of the goals of a therapeutic yoga practice for PCOS include: Standing and seated yoga asana that create an invigorating, but not exhausting, exercise session Twisting poses, which in yoga physiology are believed to help decrease abdominal fat Postures that bring blood to the thyroid gland, an important endocrine gland for metabolism Stimulating agni, the digestive fire, that supports complete digestion and metabolism of foods Mudras (hand yoga) that stimulate different physiological and energetic systems Breathing exercises that induce the relaxation response While lifestyle changes can be very helpful with PCOS, they are not enough on their own. Working in partnership with you physician or Reproductive Endocrinologist and ensuring they are kept up to date on any holistic treatments you may be using is the smartest approach for PCOS management. Yoga for Fertility to support PCOS is available at Pulling Down the Moon in-center starting on Sept 21st and virtually starting on Sept 30th . If you would like to learn more about PDtM’s PCOS Action Plan to manager your PCOS Action Plan with holistic health treatment ( Acupuncture , Massage , Nutrition , and Yoga ) then contact us at 312-321-0004 or email info@pullingdownthemoon.com to get started today! (1) Field, T. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice 17 (2011) 1e8
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